Your Birthday

Dear McKinley,

So this is the 21st century version of a baby book- a blog! I wanted to write all these memories down somewhere so that you can one day read them. And I can read them. I have a feeling once you get a little older, I am not going to remember what I ate for breakfast. You are 4.5 months old now, so I am a little late, but I remember your birthday like it was yesterday. So here's the [long] story:

I was due December 6, 2014. It was a long 40 weeks but I honestly couldn't complain. I had an easy pregnancy compared to some. December 6th was a Saturday. Your MiMi came up from GA to be here when you were born- She got here that Saturday and we waited. and waited. and waited. and shopped. and waited. and walked. and waited. It was the l.o.n.g.e.s.t. few days. I had been to the doctor the week before so I did have an induction scheduled to be Tuesday, December 9th if you didn't make your arrival by then. Tuesday (finally) came. We were all ready to go, but the hospital had no rooms available to induce-SO we got to wait some more! They said they would call when they had a room (they never called). Wednesday came and the doctor wanted me to come in for an ultrasound to check on you. This is where it all started.

We did the ultrasound and you were measuring at 36 weeks and 4 days. (I was 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant). I remember seeing the "36 wks 4 d" and freaking out a little. I knew you would be small, but that was s.m.a.l.l. The doctor was concerned with how tiny you were with me being past my due date so they sent me straight to the hospital to be induced. In the hospital room I had just your dad and your Mimi with me. I wanted no one else as a personal decision. Hospitals are my least favorite place on the planet and I didn't want anyone in there besides the two people I am the closest to. That night they started me on medicine to help start dilating. (I was only 1 cm dilated until this point). The next morning (Thursday) they started pitocin. I dilated a little bit more, but things were moving very slow. I was starting to have contractions and they started to get stronger, but you were nice and cozy and making NO moves on your own. The doctor broke my water, but things still weren't moving along. Things actually got worse from this point. Every time I would have a contraction, your heart rate would drop. This continued so they took me off of the pitocin to be monitored. The doctor then decided that the best thing for you and me at that moment was a c-section. I cried. and cried. and cried some more. I did not have that in my birth vision at all and c-sections these days I feel like are frowned upon, so I reallyyyy just didn't want it to happen. The doctor let me make the final call, but he knew what he was talking about and I agreed that it was what needed to be done. I had the BEST nursing staff during this whole process (they took the camera so that is how we have these pictures!) I was so thankful that that kind of energy was surrounding me during that time. They took me to the procedure room and your dad was able to come sit next to me once everything got set up. You were born at 4:12 on December 11, 2014. (*the doctor said my placenta was calcified and that could be the reason for your low birth weight and labor complications)

 It wasn't at all how I imagined it to be, but it was perfect. You were perfect. It was so surreal to see you looking at us and being with you outside of the womb. You got cleaned up and went out with your dad to meet your two anxiously awaiting grandmas. 

Once I was all stitched and ready, I was able to hold you and have you try to eat. You latched on right away and have been breastfeeding ever since. That night (and the 2 nights before while waiting and in the hospital) I didn't sleep a wink. I didn't sleep the next day either, and well, by this point I was delirious and quite hormonal (you can ask your dad). I remember just crying in the hospital room because I was just so incredibly tired. I only wanted a few visitors, if any,  just close family and your Aunt Haley. I am sure all women can agree that after giving birth, being incredibly exhausted, and going through something so life changing- the last thing you want to do is socialize. All I wanted to do was sleep. Luckily, we were able to go home on Saturday and I got to nap in my bed. It was all such a whirlwind and life-changing, but all so worth it.

Love you forever,

Mommy